Blend it like Bekah!

New beginnings

2010-12-30T22:56:00.000-08:00

I always liked the idea of a "new year." But I never understood why our new year fell on January 1st. Once I began to study different cultures, I found I preferred a seasonal calendar. It made more sense that the year began the day after Winter Solstice, the longest night of the year, because the next day, the light slowly returns.

So, as an adult, I practice my new year then. and then again on my birthday, which is more officially my "new year."

But I think that really, we all just want to feel like we have a fresh start. New Year's eve/day is only as powerful as you allow it to be, just like anything. We put so much intention and "resolution" into that day and for many people, they do make profound change.

Sometimes it lasts, sometimes it doesn't.

So I like the idea of getting to make a new start more often than once a year.

Which is why I have decided my most favorite calendar is the lunar calendar. We get a fresh start every 28 days and the cycle is very specific for how to rise and fall with it.

This year the new moon is January 4th, so fairly close to the traditional "new year." and it feels different. After a few years of closely following the moon, I feel the dark moon time right now. The time where things are closing, ending, waning. and the only thing that can happen next is opening, expanding. Because that is the essence of life. begin and end, wax and wane, new and full. There is always the opportunity to let something go and there is always time for rebirth.

So whether you celebrate the new moon, the solstice, the new year or simply your own birthday, may you experience beautiful re-birth of possibilities and be filled with the freshness needed to keep your intent.

and if you wane or waver, don't be afraid to start again.

There is always a new beginning in some calendar.

It takes two..

2010-05-13T16:43:00.000-07:00

Duality.
Yoga has said for 5000 years that duality is both the nature of human life and also the cause of suffering (I am summarizing)
Contrary to popular belief, Yoga is not a non-dualistic tradition (we are all one mentality) Yoga is dualistic which means there are two. Parusha (spirit) and Prakriti (form). Shiva (divine destructive masculine) and Shakti (divine creative feminine). Up and Down. Right and Left. Dark and Light.
I have been studying Yoga now for 7 years... so why does the duality in life still surprise me?
Why is it devastating to have a beautiful awesome day in Burbank when Nashville is under water? How can we rejoice over weddings and births when oil is spilling at a frightening rate into the gulf?
Well... how can we not?
It is another duality- that relationship between the head and the heart.
Between the mind and spirit.
Somewhere, I know that things are happening as they need to.. that there is some "divine order" to all of this. But then their is that little voice that feels so powerless and wants to scream "It's not fair!"
That was my big line as a kid.. over and over "It's not fair."
I can still hear my mom.. "Life isn't fair."
True. Life is not fair. Life is a big contradiction and a hypocrisy.
So... what.. do.. we.. do.. now?
Yoga says that we should try to find the joy anyway.
In spite of duality and all of it, we try to break through it.. we soften into the middle of these opposites and we recognize the suffering and welcome the moments of peace. We try to be nice to each other, to the planet, to ourselves.
Ultimately, it is all a love story- 2 people from totally different worlds, upbringings, ways of life somehow can fall in love in the midst of it all.
That is the real lesson of all these opposites- they can only come together in love.
So we enjoy the California sunshine and send money to Nashville.
We celebrate our births and our weddings and sign petitions to stop off shore drilling.
We try not to ignore the dark but we can still bask in the light.
Without destruction, there is no creation.
It really does take 2 to make a thing go right.

Car-ma

2010-03-25T14:45:00.000-07:00

Karma is defined by wikipedia as "that which causes the entire cycle of cause and effect."

My whole life, well, since I was 16, anyway, I feel that I seem to have been involved in a cycle that is similar but that we can call "Carma."

Because I have the weirdest history with cars.

My mother used to say that I worked my karma out with my car, and that I should be grateful about that trade.

Well, I guess.

I mean, I really don't think I have ever been a "bad" driver, and most of the "accidents" I have been involved in were not because I was speeding recklessly down the freeway. Mostly. Mainly I hit inanimate objects.. other parked cars, curbs, poles.

Just the other week i was thinking, man, it has been a while since I hit anything!

Lo and behold, pulling out of the studio lot the other day, backed right into the evil telephone pole in the middle of our parking lot. (Really, it is a HORRIBLE spot for a telephone pole, just TERRIBLE)

Damage was minimal, but my ego was more bruised cuz I can't seem to avoid hitting things for too long.

So my mom, again, brought up the carma idea.

and it got me thinking, if this "karma" thing exists (which i think is likely as most actions seem to have an effect)

Could it be possible that the universe, God, whatever, sometimes doles out karma in specific ways? Like I work out this life and the last life with my front and rear bumpers, maybe someone else works it out with their bones, another with pets, I don't know.

It just got me thinking.. could there be carma??

Think about it...

(and yes, I have considered the idea that maybe I should just pay better attention, but seriously, I really am paying attention most of the time!!!)

I've got the Power!

2010-03-02T08:22:00.000-08:00

Power has been coming up a lot.
For training, I had to read Love & Power by Lynn Andrews.
Last weekend, in a Core Shamanism workshop offered by Foundation for Shamanic Studies, the topic of power was discussed in depth.

Basically, it seems like we have to change our relationship to power. It has gotten this reputation as being bad thing. (Much like money)
We have come to equate money & power with rich white men or the like. The whole "power over" thing. This is not power- that is CONTROL.
People have become dis-empowered because we have confused these 2 words. We think, I have no control over these things, so I have no power.
and if that is what you think, well, then you truly are power-less.
Cut to Yogic and Shamanic thought- the power I am referring to could also be called mana or Q'i(chi) and the term I prefer is Prana.
Prana is vital life force, as is Q'i and Mana. Prana is the true power.
Yogis believe that the sun is made of Prana and that it is the energy that fuels all life. If you think of your power as your own personal sun, you begin to understand why you do have power and why it is NECESSARY to be power-full.
Everyone who is alive has power, or prana, or you would not be.
But many of us have lost our prana, our power.
If is the same energy we get when we are stuck inside for long periods of time and then you suddenly experience that first ray of pure sun and suddenly you fill up again.
That is true power.
and it can be accessed through nature, yoga, meditation, shamanic journeying, chanting and anything esle that allows you to clear blockages and let prana to flow through you.
In Yoga and Ayurveda, Prana enters through the breath and moves through channels (nadis) on the right, left and center. The prana moves through you and heals, stimulates, cleans and yes, empowers.
You know when you are becoming power-full because your breath is slow and steady, you feel tingly, maybe even sense warmth or vibration. You feel present, focused and filled with confidence, wisdom and POWER. It feels really, really good.
You don't have to have money, fame or any of that to be powerful.
We must change our relationship to power!!!!
No one can empower you, and you can not empower someone else. You cannot pay to become empowered.
You find power through breath, intention, moving your body and connection to spirit (which could be anything you need it to be)
We empower ourselves and then hang around other empowered folk and suddenly, the world changes.
Power is not bad and it is not the enemy. Control can be a bit of a problem, but if more of us consciously took the time to tune in and fill ourselves with more Prana, things can be different. We can, we should, we must ALL hold power in this world.
That power is held in our hearts and our bellies. It comes from earth and sky. and we need it to survive.
Next time you walk, or take a yoga class, or lay in the sun, take time to think about Prana. Deepen your breath, stretch and start to be aware of the subtle evidence that you are being filled with light and power. Do this every day if you can. and life will change.
power prana q'i mana power power prana q'i mana prana power power power power
We ALL have the power.

On this New Moon

2010-01-14T14:08:00.000-08:00

On this new moon
there are thousands of people dead
and thousands more scared out of their minds
in Haiti
and in other places in the world
On this new moon
there was also a solar eclipse that told me
it was time for new beginnings
On this new moon
I read from one of my favorite authors
To save what you love
cuz it is all coming down
On this new moon
I walked my dog through the park
and rested with the trees
On this new moon
I taught a yoga class
about balancing fire and earth
cuz isn't that what we are doing?
Balancing fire and earth
On this new moon
I fantasize about my wedding
my best friend's baby shower
learning to compost
and "greening" my backyard
On this new moon
I have a couple hours left of work
and then I will sit in circle
with other women
we will eat, laugh, create
we will take a moment to honor those who have passed
and the labor pains of our mama earth
as she balances fire and earth.
On this new moon
I will go home to my partner
(who has a cough and an aching back)
and I will lay with him under a dark sky
and look for signs
of this new moon.

Full Moon In Taurus inspiration

2009-10-29T18:21:00.000-07:00

"The moon in Taurus slows us down, roots grow deep; a stubborn, creative, earthy, sensual time. It's time to work together to cultivate the miracle of the Mother-made-manifest: our material resources of garden, home, health, sex and body."

~We'moon 2009

I love the waxing cycle. Every night, as the air grows cooler, sipping my tea with my shaman dog at my side, we talk to her growing, changing face. Sometimes I sing, sometimes I just listen. As she waxes, I grow more creative, more juicy, more excited. Perfect for a Taurus full moon.

Taurus is fixed earth, and what a mirror that is to this Scorpio sun! It is a dance of the most intimate nature. Solid, stubborn earth and the deepest, darkest waters. The Full moon is the time of reflection and celebration.We see so clearly what that Scorpio sun has brought up (mainly issues with sex, death and transformation) and this is our chance to open ourselves up to true change.

Get in your body, get on the earth.

Go deep.

It is wonderful that the full moon is so close to Samhain, also called Hallowmas and dia de las muertos. (Oct 31-Nov 1) The end of the cycle of the year, the time between times while we wait for winter solstice. Honoring ancestors, and all that has passed away.

Go outside and light a candle, say a prayer or sing a song to release whatever no longer serves you. Take a full moon walk or hike.

I am inspired on this particular full moon to leave you with a portion of "the charge of the Goddess" adapted by Starhawk. It is a beautiful and powerful invocation and it feels right to me to share it while the full moon in Taurus is reflecting the sun in Scorpio.

"I who am the beauty of the green earth and the white moon among the stars

and the mysteries of the waters.

I call upon your soul to arise and come unto me.

For I am the soul of nature that gives life to the universe.

From me all things proceed and unto Me they must return.

Let My worship be in the heart that rejoices, for behold- all acts of love

and pleasure are my rituals.

Let there be beauty and strength, power and compassion, honor and

humility, mirth and reverence within you.

And you who seek to know Me, know that your seeking and yearning will

avail you not, unless you know the mystery:

for if that which you seek, you find not within yourself, you will never find

it without.

for behold, I have been with you from the beginning, and I am that which is attained at the end of desire."

May this full moon bless you with her light~

Bring on the Matriarchy!

2009-10-26T10:03:00.001-07:00

I am currently listening to Jean Houston on the free "women on the edge of revolution" online calls. (www.WomenOnTheEdgeOfEvolution.com)

Last night I lay in bed reading Vicki Noble's book, "Motherpeace: a way to the Goddess through myth, art and Tarot"

The last couple years have been filled with more Vicki Noble, more Lynn Andrews, more Zsuzsanna Budapest, more women. More Shakti, more "Cunt", more empowered females!

I have started women's new moon gatherings, created yoga workshops just for women and upped my own "Luna Yoga."

and the truth that keeps ringing in my ears over and over is "It is time. It is time. It is time to reawaken the Goddess, to bring back the Matriarchy!"

I was listening to "Radio Lab" last week (http://www.wnyc.org/shows/radiolab/) they had a show called the New Normal. One of the stories was how a group of baboons were domesticated simply because the females changed their behavior.

It is everywhere.

A few months ago, my partner (who loves conspiracy theories) was watching "the Obama deception" and it was truly irrelevant why they had the theory because all I heard was that voice saying "their time is done. It doesn't matter who they elect, their time, their Patriarchy is coming to a close."

Calling all maidens, mothers, crones, wise women, girls, calling all FEMALES~

The truth is this- we are, as a species, in trouble.

The answer seems to be, for both us and the baboons, the females of the tribe.

The Matriarchy does not say women are better than men.

In the Matriarchy, men and women are equal and have their own strengths, they support each other for the highest good of our mama earth.

One woman is not queen, we are all queens!

We are the physical manifestation of the Goddess and must treat each other and ourselves as such.

That is the secret of the Matriarchy, the Goddess is in everyone. Each woman is in her image and each man is son of the Goddess.

Everything we do supports the Goddess, our planet.

There is no need for perfection, control or aggression.

Moodiness, "mooniness" and sexuality are all welcome.

It is okay to laugh, to cry, to breast feed anywhere.

The Moon lodge is filled with happy, healthy women and the men teach the boys how to respect their mother.

There is more art, more dance, more play.

There is food for all- lots of food, lots of water, lots of warmth.

There is no scarcity in the Matriarchy;

there is only abundance.

It is NOT a fear-based society

It is a hope-filled society.

Ladies- pay attention, the voice is calling you, too.

Guys- Let it go. It's time. Allow yourself to be the sons of women. There is more freedom in this than the world we have made.

It is just a change of perception, followed by simple actions.

The female baboons just started taking care of the younger males, rather than letting them be abused by the older males and earn their "manhood."

Change your mind and let the Goddess guide you.

Bring on the New Matriarchy!

No such thing as confusion

2009-10-08T16:23:00.000-07:00

I was talking to one of "spiritual adviser's" today. It's funny how those folks KNOW you. and catch you. She caught me twice. Really good.

I was ramblingly trying to explain my current feelings (always an embarrassing conversation) and I guess I kept interjecting "I don't know" after every few statements. Then I abruptly ended with "I think I'm confused.

She struck.

"Did I ever tell you that I was once told that there is no such thing as confusion, there is only not liking your choices?"

(pause. silence)

"and I think you do know."

Damn. her. damn.

No such thing as confusion. Just not liking your choices.
No such thing as confusion. Just not liking my choices.
I am not confused, I just don't like my choices.

What are my choices?

Hmmm. I will have to think about this.

What's real?

2009-01-20T15:34:00.000-08:00

I sit at the desk on my day off. Also inauguration day. Which I avoided watching. Not because I wasn't thrilled (quite the contrary, I cried at every picture I saw when I was browsing it on the Internet moments ago) I avoided watching because I was afraid something awful was going to happen because it seems TOO GOOD To BE TRUE.

I have a huge fear of things that are too good to be true; and as I dislike having fears at all, I then try to become critical and untrusting so I will protect myself from getting hurt no matter what happens.

Not how I want to live my life actually.

I do the same with school. I was so thrilled to be in Lynn Andrew's school- but the longer I am in it, the more I try to disprove it. I am afraid I will get very attached to it and the teachings and then will find out it is all wrong.

So this brings up the topic; what is real?? what is right?

Years ago I was told that being a good actor was all about getting the audience to be willing to suspend their disbelief. It could be the most ridiculous play, plot, set in the world but if you could find a way to get the audience to suspend their disbelief, to just pretend for an hour or two hours that maybe this could happen, it was considered a successful performance.

What is real?? Is Obama real? Was Bush? What does that mean? Lynn is certainly a real person.
That which I can see, touch, taste, smell? You can touch an actor. You can touch props and sets and scripts. My eyes have seen some things that others may say couldn't be real. As for taste and smell? Well, I mean technically some say junk food isn't "real" food but I can eat it and taste it, can't I?

Obviously I am having this discussion with myself. My Gemini air energy arguing with the Taurus earth energy I am trying to work with. I have had this discussion many times and with many people. I have drilled people I respect and don't respect about their beliefs and why they have them, how they have them, when they got them. Their answers either satisfy me for the moment or confuse me further.

So what is the point of writing this?

I think I am preparing to be willing.

Willing to be an active audience participant in this crazy world stage and suspend my disbelief.

What is the point of buying the ticket for a play or movie and then sitting there arguing it's very probability? (ironically, I had hoped for a later career as a theatre critic) But I don't want to be the critic; they never seem to really enjoy the show. They are always working. I want to greet each day with an attitude of "Okay, I am willing to let all this happen, trust it all and enjoy the show."

The Velveteen Rabbit was my first and favorite childhood book. I so very much wanted all my toys to become "real." I couldn't get past the magic fairy and the rabbit becoming a "real" rabbit.
Even at five years old, I wanted to know what was "real." I was devasated by the knowledge that my parent's bought my Christmas prsents and Santa wasn't "real."

Only now though, twenty years later do I recall the wise words of the old toy horse. He said that "love" is what makes something "real."

Can that be good enough for me?

I love Lynn Andrew's work. I love the ideas of Obama. I love Santa Claus. I love plays and movies and fairies and bunnies.

Can love really override my analytical, critical, intelligent mind and soften my doubting heart?

Can I substitute "Can this be real" with "can I love this?"

I can try. I am willing to suspend my disbelief and let LOVE rule my mind.

and the plot thickens....

Thanks Giving

2008-11-26T13:23:00.000-08:00

As Thanksgiving day moves close, I am sitting at the desk looking out at the rain.
What are we grateful for?
I was driving home from Palm Springs last night when the rain began and I realized my windshield wipers badly needed to be replaced. I moved into the slow lane and trudged from Redlands to Burbank at fifty miles an hour. It would have been easy to get annoyed & irritable but I moved into that Thanksgiving spirit. I gripped the jasper I keep in my car and uttered a little prayer.
"Thank you for my safe car, my new tires.. Thank you for the slow lane, that I can steadily and carefully make it home. Thank you for my new glasses that help me to see in the dark rain. Thank you for protecting me in this vehicle."

My boyfriend & I were watching "Zeitgeist, addendum" the other night. I had the pillow over my head most of the time because it was like, "I know. I KNOW how scary the world is. I know what a tentative spot we are in. I know there is pain and cruelty and greed and scarcity..." but then it started talking "solution" and my head came out from under.
Some guy was saying there is enough "prosperity, abundance & sustainability for all in this world."
Prosperity.
Abundance.
Sustainability.
So on Thanksgiving, I say THANK YOU for my prosperous, abundant, sustainable life.. because why not?? If I can start to believe it, we will all start to feel it, you know??? and Thanksgiving is not just about gratitude after all, it's also about hope.
So say thank you. for your life just as it is and for all it can be.

Namaste~

Sweet. Sassy. Sacred.

2008-11-17T17:13:00.000-08:00

Yup. That is pretty much how I have been described by students and friends. Fitting words for a 25 year old yoga teacher/healer I suppose. How did I get myself into this you may wonder? Well, I believe everything (yes, everything) happens for a reason.

Don't believe me??? Then let's chat. In all my work as a student, teacher, apprentice, healer, guide, daughter, sister, friend, enemy, lover, addict and whatever other roles I have played I have found that I am always where I need to be. Through exploring and studying yoga& other spiritual texts, yoga poses, Native teachings, metaphysical healing and fashion magazines I have found tools to more peace, more joy and much less suffering. No matter what is going on or where I am.

Sound good?? You can too.

It takes willingness, commitment, endurance and oh yeah, faith.